How do you help...

At some point in our lives, there comes a time when we can't do it on our own.

As a type-A, Aries, bossy pants, recovering-manager, and servant leader, by nature, this is not how I think. But after a few decades of doing it all on my own - and thinking that was the 'best way' - I have learned I can't do it on my own. And moreover, why should I?

We are surrounded by amazing people every day in our lives - family, friends, co-workers, school, church, sports, activities, classes, colleagues - even if you 'live' only in social media driven environment, your virtually surrounded by hundreds or millions! So why did I go for so long thinking I had to do it all on my own?

We could delve into how we are raised or the environmental factors that directed us into 'you have to do it all' roles, blah, blah, blah. But at some point, you will be exhausted with it and simply what to scream for help!! Who will be there to hear you? How will you ask if you've never done it before? One of the most poignant times in your life may be with your children. It may be watching them struggle with developmental delays or athleticism, not getting the part in the play or the orchestra chair they worked so hard for and the list goes on. For many it may be struggling in school - which is where I am today.

I was never an academic scholar (although I attended a magnet high school) and my husband (the athlete) may admit it wasn't his strength either - we had to WORK to make our grades. But the rigger of school and expectations of the public system is a whole different beast today - even at the elementary level. Let me be clear: I have great respect for teachers because I know their hearts break when they see students struggle in the classroom and fall behind - yet they know they must push forward with the curriculum. Teachers love our children in a way I never understood until I had children of my own - and I could not be more grateful for the teachers we've had so far - Thank you! Yet as a parent, you have that gut feeling that something isn't clicking for your child. You're at a loss as to how to approach 'the beast of a system' as it stands today and find an effective way to advocate for your child. And when you have a 'do it all' mentality and 'you can't do this', where does that leave you? At the mercy of others - and mercy is there!

In tears last year during a meeting for my sons IEP (individual education plan), I frustratingly shared that 1) I am not a teacher (obviously) and don't know their strategies; and guiltily, 2) I don't know how to help my son. As a parent - This a low point. It is our job to protect, support, nurture and help guide them in this life - their education - is our primary focus at this age. What do you do when you've spent 20 years building an incredible career and business but can't help your own child's learning needs in the classroom. Kind of a wake-up, huh? Anyone else been there? This is another area that may not be pleasant discussion with people; to admit your flaws, vulnerabilities and insecurities. Ick!? No thanks! Not in today's world of perfection, reality TV, entertainment sells, Facebook Envy and living vicariously through what some believe is real, in social media.

Once you get over your 'do it all' self for the benefit of your child, the school really is here to help. YOU MUST ADVOCATE, and be willing to ASK for assistance - you can't do it yourself and that is OK - you don't have to! While this is true in our school district - I cannot speak for others, nor begin to perceive the frustration in under-served districts around the country. My son really does love school, reading and learning - we've just got to find a method that will keep pace with the expectations. As we move into the next 60 days, I am hopefully after our discussion this week with his IEP team that 'we' will figure out a way increase the pace, keep him engaged and maintain the standards and expectations of Common Core, No Child Left or Everybody gets a Trophy; whatever the public school theme or target is currently. ;-)

God Bless our underpaid, over-stretched and loving teachers. Please keep giving all you can; you are making a difference for these children and their parents. For those that don't thank you directly or present you with a token of appreciation, let me say, you are appreciated and cared for more than we express. Thank You for letting us be vulnerable to ask for help in this journey with our children.

Today we touched on "Asking for Help"...
Our job is to Understand what to ask, Advance by being vulnerable to ask and Strengthen ourselves and our lives to move forward.

So much more to come and thank you for sharing this venture with me.

Life is short; my Lifebreak continues...
All the best,
Tina